Howdy Partner

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Image Credit: Crystal Wendlandt Photography

9/14/21

Have you ever thought about what makes you a good partner?

I'm not only talking about your business partnerships--but what makes you a good life partner, a good friend, a decent co-worker?

I'm going to take a moment to brag just a little because I truly feel like Blake and I are great partners--not only in relation to our business, but also within our marriage. Don't get me wrong, every partnership--business, relationship, or otherwise has it's ups and downs, and our lives are not any different--but I do know without a shred of doubt in my mind that the partnership and trust we have built in one another can and will withstand any obstacle or difficult moment put in our path.

But how do you build that trust? How do you create such a strong bond in which you never have to question or doubt the other person or the people you're working with (in whichever capacity that may be)? Although the answer to that question is somewhat loaded and may look different for everyone depending on the circumstances, I can give you a few pointers from my own life--and my life with Blake--that can hopefully offer you some inspiration or insight into your own partnerships.

In true teacher fashion--here is a list. A list of the top five tidbits of advice that I can give to you and that I find important in a strong partnership:

1) Be Patient

This seems like a no brainer, right? If you want someone to be patient with you, you must be patient with them, too. But what about after a long day at work? What about after having a difficult day or after a day in which all of your patience has already been used up and you just don't have one single ounce left to give to your partner? BE PATIENT WITH THEM ANYWAYS. Give your partner grace. Dig deep. Make sure that your partner feels valued, like their feelings and opinions are understood and heard.

2) Be Transparent

This is a huge one--and probably the biggest reason Blake and I are so strong in our partnership. We are 100% transparent with each other--about every.single.thing. The good, the bad, the ugly--doesn't matter, we tell it how it is without any reservations. But there's something important to note here--we aren't mean about the things that we're blunt about. We approach them gently, especially if it's something the other person is sensitive about. Whether it's a business idea, something going on within our relationship, or just something that comes up within an evening discussion--we give our honest, wholehearted answers and opinions when we respond to the other person. We are gentle, but we are blunt.

3) Be Open-Minded

In order for a relationship to work and a partnership to work, you have to be open-minded and honest with one another. This concept may also seem like a no brainer to some of you--but it can be a difficult concept for some people. Within my personal relationship with Blake, I am always open to the ideas that he has for our business. I didn't grow up in the cattle industry. Even though I'd like to think I've made leaps and bounds in my knowledge as a female rancher, I don't always know what's best for the cattle. I don't always know why Blake is making the decisions that he makes in regards to our business or our relationship--but I'm OPEN to it, all of it. I'm open to learning from him, I'm open to hearing his thought-process, and I'm open to letting him lead. I don't need to take the reins in every aspect of my life. I'm good at what I do as an educator--and Blake is great at what he does as a rancher. We are both open to one another--open to the different perspectives and thought processes that we possess--and we're honest in our responses to one another.

4) Don't Shut Down

Don't do it...whatever you do, don't shut down on your partner. Your partner is just that, YOUR PARTNER. They're there for you through the tough times and the bad times. Through the good times and sad times. DO NOT SHUT DOWN ON THEM. Give them the respect that they deserve and communicate with them! Tell them you're feelings, tell them what's bothering you. No one can read your mind. I hate to break it to you. Blake can read mine pretty well, and I'd like to think I can read his well--but in those moments we can't quite get a read on one another, we TALK. We try our very best not to shut down on the other person. Now let me tell you something folks, this has been the most difficult skill for me to master. I'm an "internalizer"--I take things, internalize them, and try to cope with them on my own. If I'm frustrated, I want my space and time to think. And that's okay. It's okay to need time away to collect your thoughts and pull yourself together. But it's not okay to internalize things. That's part of being a good partner, and it's what a good partner should do for you--help take the weight of the world off of your shoulders. Blake is AMAZING at doing this. He's an absolute dream of a human when it comes to dealing with me and my emotional reactions to things. He does not let me shut down--under any circumstances. He will give me the space that I need, but then he makes me come back, sit down, and communicate with him. He helps alleviate my anxieties and worries and provides me with the reassurance I need--and that's what a good partner does.

5) Laugh Through the Tough/Awkward Times

We could all laugh at ourselves more. I mean really...it's okay to truly laugh at the crazy things we experience throughout our days--the awkward encounters and conversations we get cornered into having, the embarrassing moments that present themselves at the most inappropriate times--whatever it may be, it's okay to laugh about it! Life doesn't always have to be so serious. It's okay to have some fun, enjoy yourself, and laugh off the silly moments that come your way. Laugh with your partner, laugh at yourself, laugh out loud--whatever you need to do. Life isn't so bad--sometimes you just need to take a moment and laugh about the situation presenting itself to you in your relationship, friendship, or partnership.

I hope as this week progresses, you take a moment to reflect upon yourself as a partner. Are you a good partner? What are some areas that you can become stronger in? What are some areas that you excel in? If we don't think about things in life, really take the time to evaluate them and see if we can better ourselves in any way--then we can never really be the best versions of ourselves.

-Whitney Wold